Ummm….I’m not sure what to say…
Sha dropped a bomb on me today. At first I was ecstatic. Yeah, that’s the word. I’m ashamed at initially using that word and, even more so, thinking that way. Now I feel like crying. Oh, my God, I feel like crying.
I knew the day would come for Kaleb and Taylor to go live with Sha. I just didn’t think it was going to happen so soon. I mean, like this weekend. In a couple of days.
I no longer am not going to have any of my children living permanently with me.
Oh…my…God.
This has got to be one of the hardest blog posts I’ve ever written. I’m literally sitting here, watching them eat the dinner I’ve prepared for them and realizing that, although I’ll see them just about any time I want, every other weekend for sure, they no longer are going to be permanent fixtures here.
No more going to the gym together. No more Taylor cuddling up to me during the week after I’ve had a long, hard day at work. No more chasing Kaleb around while he screams “chase me” at the top of his lungs during the week. No more listening to them stir in their bedroom when I’m reading in the living room.
I texted a very good friend of mine with this news when I found out this afternoon. I said exactly “How can I say this without sounding like an asshole? Um, as of Monday, I’m a free man.” She replied using words I eventually started feeling for myself after I had time to think about it by saying: “Wells u kinda sound a little like on. Sorry. 
u r gonna miss them. u sound like my ex husband. omg.”
Know what? She’s right. I did sound like an asshole. I feel like an asshole for initially thinking that. Now, in addition to feeling like an asshole, I feel like a little part of me’s been ripped out of my chest.
Think I’m going to go play with the kids while I still have some time.
Filed under: Parenting & Kids by kory
I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize they were going to leave your home so didn’t see this coming. Irony? I was telling a friend two days ago how cool I thought it was that you are so devoted to them, based on your tweets. You are always spending time with them, or making plans to do things with them and it’s FANTASTIC to see!
I know this adjustment will be VERY hard for you, and you know Chooch and I will be in twitter and TFC supporting you through this. We’ve both been through adjustments without our children so FEEL for you!
The great news is that you aren’t going to change how you parent them and love them. And they aren’t going to change how they love you, either! I suggest frequent phone calls so that you, Kaleb and Taylor can keep that close bond and remind them that even though you aren’t there to tuck them in that you are thinking of them and loving them always. Even if it’s just a quickie, “Daddy was thinking about you and loves you VERY much”. It will possibly make things tougher in the beginning for you, but will ease the transition for them not seeing you as much.
Oh! And a special “lovey” or stuffed animal, just from you, for them to sleep with. That is very comforting for little ones, which they are if IIRC.
Take care, we’ve got your back! *hugs*
Thx much, Viv. I really appreciate you and Choochs’ kind words, suppor and advicet. I knew it was coming but didn’t realize it would happen so soon.
I’ve had a wonderful time with the kids on a daily basis. Sure it gets stressful at times but the pros far outweigh the stress.
Just going to take one day at a time.
Kory,
i am so sorry you are having to deal with this. i don’t have any kids, but i can imagine the pain. Please know Scott and i are praying for you often! *HUGS*
Thx much, Mae. I really appreciate that. Just nice to know that you, Scott and quite a few others are there for me and praying.
Uhm… It doesn’t make you sound like an asshole to want freedom. When you’re a one-man band, sometimes you need a break. That fleeting moment of thought? That was your psyche crying out, “YAY! I get a break!” It’s normal. It’s typical. And it’s expected.
And you’re still a good person.
Thx muchly, girlmonkey. I really appreciate it.
Yeah, I realize that sometimes we all can use breaks. Now, where’s that mountain I want to go hiking on?
Have a good one!